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Showing posts from April, 2015

Beard Facts and Anti Anti Beard Propaganda Truthfulness

All of these facts are 40%-80% true.

1. Beards stop UV rays. That's right. A beard is more powerful than the freaking sun.

2. People fear them. Wait, that isn't a good thing you say? Well, people fear Batman.*

3. Nature gave us beards for a reason. 110% of beardless men experience the harshness of winter more severely then bearded men. Scientists have proven that those who lack the insulation in sub zero temperatures experience subtle brain grey matter loss.

4. Millions of children are confused by beardless fathers. A beard says to a child: "I love you, and this glorious beard is proof." Children of bearded men are 42% more likely to graduate with a Master's degree because a beard provides a sense of family pride.

5. In the ancient days, bearded Saints and Monks were legally allowed to kill you if you mocked and/or touched their beards. Beards symbolize piety and power, and the beard follicles of upright men have been known to alleviate sickness.

6. *Some* wome…