Skip to main content


Showing posts from 2015

How are you feeling?

Response 1:

"I'm not sleeping again. It turns out my body might be reacting to antidepressants. The annoying symptom? Night sweats. We thought it might be lymphoma. It wasn't. That was a fun couple of weeks. I'm terrified. I'm terrified that this won't be the end of it, that the next medicine will fail too, and those absolutely terrifying impulses to harm myself and the thoughts of failure that I tell myself I am over and over and over and over and over and over again will one day be too much. Will these thoughts that only seem to stop in short intervals darken into complete mental breakdown? My biggest fear isn't snakes or falling, it's that I will end up on the street and lose my intellect and sanity, being mocked by people who don't know what mental illness is like. I'm afraid that the loneliness I seem to NEVER break from free from will enslave me into a life of dependence on others. I was doing so well but maybe wellness is just an illusio…

Where We Go He Will Follow

It got bad when a man who made the world laugh couldn't make himself laugh.

I think I realized very early on that life isn't guaranteed. One of my earliest memories is that of attending the funeral of my mother's grandmother. I remember walking up to the casket and seeing a human shell. I vividly understood the notion that the breath in my lungs would one day cease. Providence reminded me of this truth when as a teenager I came close to dying from one of seven collapsed lungs, the centrepiece of my transition from innocence into to the cold reality of human mortality. Age has brought much joy, but also the haunting notion that I am trudging to a definite end of this thing we call life. When my father, a person of whom time has kindled the deepest of admiration, suffered massive heart failure just over five years ago, I was reminded again of the profound value of breath. The will to survive exists because life is worth living.

So why did a man who made the world laugh take …

Beard Facts and Anti Anti Beard Propaganda Truthfulness

All of these facts are 40%-80% true.

1. Beards stop UV rays. That's right. A beard is more powerful than the freaking sun.

2. People fear them. Wait, that isn't a good thing you say? Well, people fear Batman.*

3. Nature gave us beards for a reason. 110% of beardless men experience the harshness of winter more severely then bearded men. Scientists have proven that those who lack the insulation in sub zero temperatures experience subtle brain grey matter loss.

4. Millions of children are confused by beardless fathers. A beard says to a child: "I love you, and this glorious beard is proof." Children of bearded men are 42% more likely to graduate with a Master's degree because a beard provides a sense of family pride.

5. In the ancient days, bearded Saints and Monks were legally allowed to kill you if you mocked and/or touched their beards. Beards symbolize piety and power, and the beard follicles of upright men have been known to alleviate sickness.

6. *Some* wome…